So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
