he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
