Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
