so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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