i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
