Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
