Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
ok first of all what the fuck
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
