i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
