Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
