if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
