I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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