she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
