I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
