I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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