2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he thought i was a dude.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
