He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
