no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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