You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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