You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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