your room smells of hookers.
And success
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
