So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
