We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
