I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
