wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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