Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
