Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Randomize
