Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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