you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
