they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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