Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
