i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
