either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
