Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
