Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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