jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
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