I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
