I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
