i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
