i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
