whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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