i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
