let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
