He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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