i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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