Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
