I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
