Define "chronic" masturbator.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
