im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
