I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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