I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
