I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
