we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Randomize
