So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
